This afternoon, I led my class in a discussion ultimately with Dostoevsky, through Ivan Fyodorovich and Father Zosima, about the relationship of church and state. Imagine! A group of American Protestants, with nothing more than the text and a question they came up with themselves, discussing whether one should subsume the other, which one, if either, or if they can ever be functionally separate. Or, as they asked - they asked! - if the state was to be subject to “the church,” which church? And if the state is not subject to any church (or “church”), does the state put itself in the place of God?

I could spend months unpacking this with them, and if we could meet daily, we would at least spend a week on just these two pages. We didn’t even get to the aspect of conscience and how criminals would be handled differently in these different systems. This is why we won’t finish the book this year. I don’t even know if we’ll finish it next year. But there is one lesson I hope to lead these students to more than any other, and that is that “beauty will save the world.” We are told to turn our eyes to that which is true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent - to think about these things (Phil. 4:8). Why? So that the God of peace will be with us. If God is with us, then we are on the path to salvation. Beauty will indeed save the world. Beauty is saving the world, despite the firestorm surrounding us.

Oh, and if Jim Jatras ever happens to find my humble little micro blog - Vlad the Impaler even made an appearance in our discussion today (but I don’t remember the connection now).

Lord, have mercy on all of us as we trudge, trek, drag our feet, and otherwise, hopefully sometimes joyfully, journey through this Lenten season.

There are as many different ways to walk your children through Lent as there are Orthodox families - really. I’ll just share what we are doing with our children, and maybe it can be a jumping off point for your own family. Some of this might work for you, and some of it might not. So take what works, and leave the rest. And by all means, I’d love to hear what other families are doing, too. As children get older, these traditions we begin in our families need to grow with them (and I’m usually a little behind our older kids).

Whatever you do with your children for Great Lent is really building on what you do with them during non-fasting seasons. So start from there. We always start our school days with morning prayers and some kind of reading and discussion, so that’s our starting point. We added St Ephrem’s Prayer to our regular morning prayers, and our youngest absolutely loves doing the prostrations (I mean, Orthodox burpees - I can’t resist). Instead of reading and discussing The Law of God (our current “usual”), we are reading the Potamitis book Lenten Ocean Paschal River. Our discussion so far this year has focused mostly on why we fast. It’s so easy to see fasting as the end instead of the means, so it’s vital, I think, to really drive home that we fast because (which Saint said this? anyone?) sin enters through our bellies. For those who haven’t heard that before, basically, it means that if we can’t even deny the flesh basic foods, how can we possibly expect ourselves to deny the more intoxicating passions of greed, lust, gluttony, jealousy, anger, gossip? Food is the easy part (as hard as it is).

So what do I teach them as they really start getting into fasting? Fasting is meaningless without prayer. If we fast, but we fight with our family members, the fasting is void. If we fast, but we don’t honor our parents, the fasting is void. If we fast, but we are jealous of the ice cream our non-Orthodox friends are eating, well, I get it. We are to fast from sin as much as we are able, with God’s help. This is always, of course, but what is the fast without that introspective rooting out of sin in our sick souls? And how can we heal and grow closer to God without repentance?

I always want to bring our children to confession at least monthly, but time flies too fast for me, and we are entering the stage of Saturday sports, and I have to figure out how to make it a priority. Bringing them to confession during Great Lent is non-negotiable, though (for me). Ancient Faith has a great book or children to help them learn that confession - which can certainly feel awkward for kids - is there to help us along our journey. I always tell my kids that I feel so much better after a good confession. It really is medicine for our souls. I usually have to remind them that Father won’t be mad at them, and he won’t yell (basically, he’s not like me, haha), and he’s really only there to help all of us.

I have some other tools on the way for our older children. I ordered the Date With A Special Book bundle from Draw Near Designs for our teen daughter, and found a nice prayer rope made by a monk in Greece, on etsy, for our oldest son. I haven’t found a Lenten book geared towards middle school boys yet (got one? Please comment!). Our younger children love the Lady Lent tradition, and we have the fabric wall hanger from Draw Near Designs (I might shop there a lot), and the children take turns removing a foot for each Sunday of Lent after Sunday dinners, and we make sure to reinforce the Gospel lesson for that day when they do this. You could also use your advent wreath if you have one - that’s something else I add some years.

The other thing we are doing is purging the material weight we accumulate. We’ll spend Great Lent looking for toys, books and clothing we’ve outgrown or stopped using and sort them into things that still have life left, and things that aren’t good enough to donate. Please don’t donate socks with holes to shelters, folks. If it’s not good enough for you to wear, it’s not good enough for homeless folks, either. Give needy folks their dignity. It’s a hard enough pill to swallow to have to wear someone else’s used clothing. I’ll get off my soapbox now. Some parishes participate in the National Baby Shower, and some parishes will do something else, making much easier to give alms. So see what your parish offers, too.

Take what works for you, and leave the rest. If you start with an early car ride and prayers there as we do some days, there are some fantastic podcasts out there that can stand in for readings. My kids enjoy listening to Fr Alexis and Daily Orthodox Scriptures. If your kids are older, maybe pray the Psalter together as a family for Lent. There really are a million different ways to practice asceticism as a family during Lent. Bite off what you can chew so you don’t burn out; it’s a long season. But fear not: Pascha is coming. Take a penny, leave a penny - what’s a Lenten tradition in your family that you’d like to share? I’d love to hear form you!

Glorify Him!

These past ten days have been a whirlwind of real life lessons in life and death and everyday miracles, and I have started and deleted this post more times than I can count now. I’m trying to start a new-to-us Christmas tradition, too. 

I don’t want to leave anyone wondering what else they can do for the twelve days of Christmas while I decide how to relate the events trying to overshadow our Christmas (spoiler: I’ve baked six batches of cinnamon buns in our toaster oven in this past week, and I am grateful things didn’t turn out worse, but I’m also reallllllly missing our oven, and a lot of sleep), so here’s a super quick bullet list. 

Readings! There are some very short readings for each of the twelve days to bring us from the birth of Christ to the visit of the magi. Today as I write, it is the 8th day of Christmas, the Feast of the Circumcision of our Lord, and also the feast day for St Basil the Great - also our youngest son’s name day. Here’s a link to the readings:

http://ww1.antiochian.org/content/advent-reading-jesse-tree

I’ve even gotten to light our wreath once this Christmas season - the one time our toddler went to bed before prayers. How do you spell tired in Orthodoxy? Festal season. 

Go to services! If you are Catholic or Orthodox, I know you have “extra” liturgies during this time. Or at least, I hope you do. I know all our priests do as much as they can. But go to church. I was listening to an old (pre-scamdemic) podcast by Elissa Bjeletich in which she also encouraged parents to bring their children to church. She was speaking mostly to parents of older children - the ones who sometimes complain about going to church or even outright (try to) refuse. She shared something I didn’t know, and I want to share it with you all. If there is no one in the congregation to pray the prayers with the priest, the prayers are not said. If we are not there with our heartfelt “Lord, have mercy” added on, the prayers are not going up to heaven. Liturgy literally means to offer ourselves up. If we aren’t there offering ourselves in worship, there is no liturgy. And with little kids, sometimes (with mine) they get interested when I tell them how after the Great Entrance, we are surrounded by angels and Saints praying and singing right along with us. How amazing is that?! Kids and their imaginations love that, too. Cute side note, our four-almost-five year old loves to find icons of St Michael and ask us if that’s his Guardian Angel. He is convinced he is, and I happen to think he’s beginning a special friendship with the Saint. 

It’s never too late. Light a candle, bring your nativity set or icon back out if you put it away, and pray and read the readings above as a family. We’ll make vasilopita this weekend for our son’s name day and share it with our parish. You can read more about that here:

https://miakouppa.com/vasilopita/

(Also, I *think* but have not gone back to check, that Mia Kouppa has a full Lenten meal plan on her site. I think).

One last thing. Don’t let Christmas just fizzle out. The visit of the magi, and the baptism of Christ are monumental events. One brings Christ to the rest of us and declares him King; the other brings us each person of our Triune God together for all to see and hear. Let the end of the Christmas season match. A tradition that faded with the (ahem) advent of the commercial Christmas is the Epiphany party. If you don’t have an Epiphany party to attend, add some Nativity hymns to your evening prayers, and share the last Christmas cookies, or the last bit of egg nog. Just one idea.

What ways are you leading your family from Nativity to Theophany/Epiphany? I’d love to hear your traditions, too!

Catch up on readings, make sure the kids even grasp it all, slow down, so much to do. Lord, have mercy. 

Baking day approaches, as does family and far away friends. Clean the house. Scrub the boogers off the walls! We have to prepare our homes. Lord, have mercy. 

This is short and sweet because, well, our time remaining in advent is also short. Prepare your homes, we can’t get away from that. But don’t forget our most important labor - Prepare the way of the Lord! Keep the most important, the most important. 

Mama, do not neglect your unceasing prayer. Hang the laundry, Lord have mercy. Chop the veggies, Lord, have mercy. Stir the soup, Lord have mercy. Change a diaper. Lord, have mercy. Scrub a tub. Lord. Have. Mercy. 

I’m talking to myself, you know. As I glance around the room I see more than a few unfinished projects that will not be done before Sunday, and still will not be done before Theophany/Epiphany. Lord, have mercy. 

But when we are called home, God will not judge us by our housekeeping skills or our hostess abilities. As we approach our Lord in his incarnation and condescension, let us remember we are here to repent that we may commune with him - and that he became one of us that we may attain theosis. (I’ve started reading The Ethics of Beauty, and the talk of chiasm in our theology is mind blowing).

Such a simple prayer. Lord, Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner. So profound. In the silence I can pray the entire thing. In the chaos, it’s Lord, have mercy. These next few days are some of the most chaotic of the year, maybe THE most. (Self), Prepare your heart, mind and strength to receive our Lord. 

With God’s help, may we all have the strength to finish the fast, and enjoy the feast! I’ll be praising with you when we say, Christ is Born! Glorify Him!

P.S. If you aren’t following Abbot Tryphon on social media, he’s my absolute favorite part of telegram, and his post today was exactly what I needed (and it influenced what I wrote for you today). He’s also on fb, yt and maybe some others.

Fasting. For an Orthodox Christian, this goes without saying. For those not familiar with our tradition, people fast as they are able. We are not created for the fast, but the fast is there to help us learn to defeat our passions. So just like I might not be strong enough to use some construction or blacksmithing tools, I also can’t always use everything the fast offers us. I know the whole idea of fasting probably sounds like some legalist rule to those on the outside looking in, but nothing could be farther from the truth. Our fasting periods are such a gift. 

Orthodox moms, I can only share what we’ve done. I’ve been nursing, pregnant or both the entire time I’ve been Orthodox. We are an allergy household. So we’ve never kept a fast perfectly. Our former priest told me once that the allergies that keep me from fasting (when I have to cut out a gazillion foods for a nursing baby) are the cross I bear. What I haven’t done well, the part I missed so far, is to bear it joyfully for Christ. It’s taken me this long to figure out that joy is supposed to be inseparable from any suffering in this life, and the relationship between suffering and salvation. I digress. Ask your priest. ;-)

Advent wreath! I LOVE our advent wreath. Years ago I bought a Waldorf birthday ring (or whatever they call it. I forget now) and we use it for Advent and Great Lent. It’s easy to adapt whether you start Advent on November 15th or in December (Western Rite). I’ve seen it decorated with magnolia leaves farther south of us, and it’s stunning. You could pair the Advent wreath with the Jesse Tree readings, your family prayer time, and something I think we’re going to try starting later this week is called the Great O Antiphons. You’ll see in some of my photos that all the wicks have been lit. This year I’m not lighting it. I can’t even put it in reach of our youngest, because he is just way too destructive. It ebbs and flows. But check out how our daughter decorated it!

Jesse Tree! Whether your Jesse Tree is 40 days or 25, it’s so helpful, I think, for our children to get an annual wide angle view of how God brought about salvation. The Jesse Tree isn’t just about genealogy although that’s a very important piece of it. It’s also about God tarrying with Israel, unfolding his covenant promises, weaving unexpected ancestors into Christ’s lineage. And it cannot be understated that the main purpose for having the Jesse Tree in the first place is to reinforce the Virgin birth. My own personal favorite though is watching God take the darkness in this world and turn it on it’s head. For example, after Joseph’s brothers sold him into slavery, God brought Joseph up the ranks to be Pharaoh’s right hand man, which led to Joseph’s brothers groveling to him for wheat. And God does this over and over again. The later Pharoah was afraid of Israel’s large numbers, ordered the midwives to kill the newborn boys, and what does God do? Destroys Pharaoh and his army through one of those baby boys raised right under his own nose. 

Some of my favorite Jesse Tree resources from over the years:

This is a good summary of the Jesse Tree and the icon Root of Jesse: http://ww1.antiochian.org/christianeducation/tree-jesse

(Comment below if you’re interested in hearing more about why I don’t shy away from icons. Hint: No, we don’t worship them).

This blogger links to ornaments she created on a google doc. They’re the closest thing I can find to the simple print-and-color ornaments we used to use. The document we used in the past had extra full page coloring sheets which was perfect because then everyone always had something to color (because, one ornament/day... once you have more than one kid, you have a war on your hands): http://asimplehousewife.blogspot.com/2014/11/jesse-tree-orthodox-christian-advent.html?m=1

Our kids also love to celebrate St Lucia Day. We have a children’s book, Lucia Saint of Light by Katherine Bolger Hyde (Conciliar Press) that we read together each year. This year we got to read the story of her life around the breakfast table complete with lussekatter rolls and tea/coffee. Later in the day we packed up more buns, and surprised a neighbor with carols. It was a LOT of work, and I stayed up until 2 am baking after the kids went to bed (who helped make the dough at least. Normally they would help with the whole process but it just didn’t work out that way this time). It was so worth all the extra work. The kids had the opportunity to talk more about martyrdom and a deeply devoted love for Christ, and then they were able to use the example of St Lucia to share Christ’s love - and her story - with our neighbors. I hope these are lessons and memories that will stay with them for their whole lives. 

But you don’t have to stay up until 2 am rolling out buns and stuffing raisins into them. There are also printable crowns online. You could have your kids cut and color the crowns, make some tea or hot cocoa, light a candle and read her story. It can be very simple and still very powerful. It took me around five years to go from paper crowns to buns, and there are no guarantees we’ll do buns again next year. Do what you’re able!

Completely out of order now, St Nicholas Day! It’s so exciting to see our protestant brothers and sisters taking a longer look at the historical 4th century bishop than what I saw in my own days in their fold. I don’t know if it’s just the circle I’m in now, or if it’s a larger trend, but our kids’ co op had a few classes where they spent a day talking about him. Our oldest son even got to share his Paterikon book with one of his classes. I’m so proud of him! It’s way out of his comfort zone to read out loud to a group. Every year we fill the kids shoes or slippers with little goodies and we read something about his life. One year we put up our tree on this day. Another year that was the day we allowed the start of Christmas music and movies. 

Which, by the way, moms, if you don’t have the Paterikon books from Potamitis, especially if you have young children, these are a great way to get your kids curious about the Saints. I can’t say they’ll listen to much of the text, but our kids look at the icons depicted and ask questions about some of the Saints. And they’re so inexpensive, too. They make great stocking stuffers (no, no one I’m mentioning here is paying me. I’m not anyone’s affiliate). I happen to love all the Potamitis books for their right theology, use of icons, and the quality paper and binding (I used to work at a book bindery a lifetime ago).

So, what if you haven’t done much for advent yet? To borrow from St John Chrysostom, come at the eleventh hour, you’re just in time! Sum up some Jesse Tree readings for your kids, let them color to their hearts content, and share some hot cocoa and cookies. Ok, I make it sound so easy and I know it’s not. The point is, you’re never too late to mark Advent with your children. 

I’d love to hear your own family traditions that made/make Advent special. Did you have any special Advent traditions growing up? Anything you’re trying to start with your own family?

P.S. I have to shout out to my food allergy readers. We’re an allergy family, too, and I used to get so annoyed (sometimes I still do) at everything revolving around food. It’s ok. You don’t have to use food, or maybe you’re becoming a master of adaptation. Do something that makes it meaningful and memorable for your kiddos. 

lussekatter recipe we used this year: alwaysusebutter.com/lussekatter-traditional-swedish-saffron-buns/#recipe

I subbed turmeric for the saffron.

I’ll be back with one last Advent post before Nativity/Christmas. Have a great week!

And yet, what could be more challenging? I never feel like I pray enough, do you? It’s as if, as mothers, we are told to just pray as we are able because we are so busy, and yet, we have so much to pray for! we concern ourselves with our children and our godchildren, our husbands, parents, siblings, nieces and nephews… all while trying to keep a home, chase our children, make them do their own share, maybe you homeschool, maybe you homestead… (this is where I remember the story of John Wesley’s mother covering her head with her apron so her children would know she was in prayer and not to be disturbed. Boy would I love it if my children listened that well).

Lay aside all earthly cares (or, Let all mortal flesh be silent)…

I read monastic writings and think to myself, I wish I had that kind of time to pray. I wish I had that kind of time to ponder God’s holiness and unfathomable love. Something about these times in which we live makes repentance feel all the more imperative. Do you feel it, too, mama?

And doesn’t it sit just so nicely with that Advent longing? We need our Savior. We need his help while we work out our salvation with fear and trembling. Jesus isn’t going to fix all this stuff we are living through - not the way that would feel all nice and neat to us, anyway. Saint Paisios told us there will be about three and a half very difficult years. They are coming. Whether in our lifetime or in another, who knows, but it feels closer, doesn’t it?

Now, I need to pause briefly and address my protestant/evangelical/pentecostal sisters. I used to be Pentecostal. I believed there would be a pre-tribulation rapture. Please, go back and read Revelation to see how things actually unfold, and what happens after that rapture. Read what the earliest Fathers of our faith believed and taught. That verse in Thessalonians you guys like to quote as proof there’l be a pre-trib rapture? How many times do you think Jesus is coming back? To believe in a pre-trib rapture, you’d have to believe he’s coming back twice! Once for the rapture, and again for the judgment. We all know he’s returning once. The current idea of a pre-trib rapture comes from the 19th century fundamentalist movement. Look at the book of Jude… if it’s new, it’s not true. So my sisters, if you are expecting a pre-trib rapture, that is your risk for being deceived by the Antichrist, should he enter the stage in our lifetime - because you are expecting Christ to return in our lifetime, before the tribulation while neglecting to be on guard for the Antichrist, and also expecting the same sort of messiah that 1st century Israel waited for. (And to be clear, I claim no immunity. Many will be deceived). Diving in any deeper is another post, and not really where I want to take this conversation, so I’ll leave it at that.

So here we are in Advent 2023, waiting with what is, at least for me, the most anticipation I’ve felt yet during an Advent season. I can’t even stand to listen to Christmas music yet. I tried, but instead I’m combing iTunes for advent music that isn’t hokey (spoiler: most of it is. Humbug) Good thing I can sing! Oh Come, Oh Come, Emanuel is my favorite. We have no Christmas decorations up yet, either (partly because I’m still cleaning and decluttering, partly because for the first time in my life, I can’t bring myself to feast while I fast). Thank you to our priest for hammering this home. It’s helped a lot.

Christmas is the only holiday we celebrate before it actually arrives. Isn’t that interesting? We could look at it and point to all the money to be made, and how the commercialism has driven the long season (and all but erased Christ from Christmas). What’s another word for money? Mammon. At least one tradition holds that mammon is the name for a demon, which lends itself nicely to the idea of money being an idol. I don’t know if it’s true, but we certainly idolize money together as a culture, and combatting that is the work of spiritual warfare. Some of us call that quieting the passions, passions being anything that we put in the place of God in our hearts and minds. So, for example, instead of being gluttonous, channel that into hunger and thirst for God.

In my next post I’ll share in some detail what we have done - or tried to do - to help our children tune into the anticipation of the Advent season, waiting and watching for the Christ child’s incarnate birth 2,000 years ago, and looking forward to his eventual second coming.

Want to dial Christmas back to Advent in your home? Turn off the tree, change the music, put out an Advent wreath, look up some Advent prayers. The Church is rich with traditions anyone can borrow from.

I hope this has been a blessing for you.

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